instagram that shit

(i don’t really care to blog about politics, but it’s a timely place to start, considering how pelican crazy everyone went talking about the supreme court today. nor will i claim to be a christian church analyst or expert, i'm simply free-handing ideas that come to mind, with the realization that many of them are flawed, but realizing that there has got to be some insight into our infrequent, sporadic political and religious fervor, and i want to figure it out, and perhaps ask myself why i don't really do anything about the things i claim to care so much about, and perhaps discover that it is because i haven't learned how to truly care about them, and maybe if i did learn how to, life would no longer be as easy or trendy, but rather challenging, but no less, good, and god-glorifying). 

i sincerely love how political we’ve become today, and rightfully so, a major piece of legislation is upheld by the supreme court, for which, whether we like it or not, our lives will be affected in some way shape or form, i suppose, if they haven’t been already; but perhaps, perhaps our political bantering today is just the social consciousness of a few months ago, when most of us pretended like we truly wanted justice for African children, but didn’t actually physically move there and look for places to start working, nor do anything for that matter, like we all liked pogs, yo-yo's, and silly-bandz, but grew out of them, when they no longer fit that intrinsic perception that there is a need to be entertained, to love what others love, have what others have, or more simply, be noticed, looked at, thought neater, bigger, cooler; or when they no longer made us happy. 

i don’t want church to be talked about like i do a coffee shop, and truth is i don’t hate on what is popular, in fact i recently joined twitter, bought an ipad and I love it, i want people to do and be near to wherever and what makes them happy, and then divorce themself from the idea that this is always how the christian life is lived, that this is somehow the way god intended his people to gather, in a place that entertains, and lets them love what others love, have what others have, be noticed, looked at, thought neater, bigger, cooler; or that makes them happy. 

i can’t think of one time in the gospel where Jesus had the disciples lead three songs before he preached, and i don’t want to be a crazy person, because truth is i like music, but lets honestly consider how much church happens within that often awkward span of time, how near we feel to god during the fourth accapella repeat of the bridge; because i think there's something to the mad emphasis; and I know some language scholar can help me out with this, because it just feels too right, that worship has little to do with singing, or about how 'refreshing' the preaching was, but about living, and probably not even always within the walls of a church; and i also know it’s good to feel near to god; and perhaps the church you like now does that for you, but perhaps that nearness is like the passion we feel in political ranting after a supreme court ruling, like the blood in our veins for our strongest opinion about gay marriage or some hot topic, the jinkos, chain wallets, or bell bottoms, of the present church; and it fades quickly; so if we take one element of the nearness away, i imagine most of us move on. 

so perhaps the church is sustaining a fad, that changes every so often, like hymnals and pews, projection screens and fog machines; but actually accomplishing very little; and not little in the bar graph, comparitive sense, because i realize we do a lot, but little in the potential sense; in the fact that maybe we're changing more to suit our attendees and less to meet the needs of the world. 

I don’t mean to downplay the work of many, who give their lives to spread Jesus, but don’t try and convince me that this is the norm, i would bet it’s entirely the opposite; that they are the extreme few, and when they become the norm, i’ll happily change my tone; because the money we give to support them, i imagine we individually spend significantly more on skinny jeans and angry birds, really, i imagine my own life is so right on that point it should disturb me.

i imagine that the average christian today spends more on fads than he does on the gospel, and if thats true in our spending habits why would i think it any different in our ideas of true worship; but i'm not condemning myself, as much as i am finding reason to believe that giving money cannot in fact be the whole story to living out the gospel; i must believe that physically living out the gospel, is direct, and whole; meaning that it is our chief portion of living, not some indirect, well i work at Lowe’s and I smile a lot, so people see Jesus in me. do i want to live out my life like Christ intended me to hopefully, and indirectly show him to the world, or do we want to live our lives in a way that demands our entire physical selves; all energy within our minds and hands, directly working to act justly and love mercy. 

Am I doing that, no, am i aiming in that direction, hopefully, will I get there, absolutely; and, i’m certain that if we thought more about true worship, more about actually physically doing, with our own hands, the things we feel so strongly for; the church could transform into what the world truly needs; it can feed the hungry, it can write bibles into every language, it can end social injustice; but the question is do we really want that? 

excuse me, it just started raining outside and i want to instagram that shit. 

Anis Mojgani - "equal parts science & magic"

so call this the year of no mistakes 

the year of the heavy sword

but stronger hands 

the year, where we are no longer stuck in the street 

but found somewhere between the asphalt and the moon 

inside a sheath of arrows turning itself into wind 

the year where we turn our hearts towards light 

with the realization and acceptance of not only how utterly magnificent

everyone of us is, 

but that this magnificence is something that we cannot help but carry with us. 

there is joy inside of you waiting to be heard 

listen for it 

and to the spaces it speaks from 

follow those spaces

do not tremble before the boulder blocking the entrance into yourself 

do not tremble before the boulder blocking the entrance out of yourself 

you cannot fall 

you are noble 

the universe is a part of you 

and you apart of it 

and every piece of it is made of science and magic 

every part of you is science and magic

come thou fount

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace
Streams of mercy, never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
Praise the mount, I'm fixed upon it
Mount of Thy unchanging love

Here I raise my Ebenezer
Here there by Thy great help I've come
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure
Safely to arrive at home
Jesus sought me when a stranger
Wandering from the fold of God
He, to rescue me from danger
Interposed His precious blood

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be
Let that grace now, like a fetter
Bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, O take and seal it
Seal it for Thy courts above

'Homeward Bound' - live cover with gino antolino

through jacksonville and after

arguing about marijuana 

jail time and legalization 

he was fifteen, 

the center and heat,

the brains and the reason

within debate,

but in a jam, 

with the law, 

and he wore a white wrist band 

to prove it;

which commanded

the conductors attention 

as he passed by

before the next station

'do not get off the train' 

he said, 

and the embarrassment 

cast from eyes

were an open

invitation 

to a conversation

worth having. 

and the five other exiting bodies 

created a window 

for me to see deep into your soul 

as you swore time and again, 

attempting to convince us both

you didn’t steal that cell phone,

and i wanted to say i forgave you 

but instead let you believe your acting 

was on par.

but at least when they expelled you from school 

they couldn’t expel you from grace 

and all i hope is that you felt like it was true

in our ten minutes; 

after which you went back to your 

fighting words and hard core 

back turned hat 

and bull shit 

faking of a rebel headliner 

without the hardest years of life 

ahead of you 

and nothing and no 

one behind you. 

but then again maybe 

you had no choice, but to

play that part to make it,

and i’ll give you entertainer 

you had us wall to wall 

enraptured 

by that story of the german 

you met in the city

and the legal drinking age,

what makes law you asked,

and how our laughter 

became belief when you said 

he was the only father 

you really had 

god damnit, 

if i knew a thing or two; 

i might have said more than

peace kid, 

i might have given you my wallet, anything 

and at least told you to make something 

of your mind 

something of your potential, i could have

called your mother in ft. lauderdale

and told her hang up 

the booze 

and enroll you in language class

i could have,

asked for a name, 

to put beneath the face 

of the kid that just may

smoke 

himself broke

and third offense his way 

into a place with metal wrist bands, 

so what makes law? 

in the end, 

it didn't matter 

so much as the laughter,

the commonality

through jacksonville and after 

and you created that, 

i just hope you don't forget it.

the ones you keep

Kiddo: Brady Michael Smith
Established: March 10, 2009
by: Rusty & Janice Smith

a turbo engine steam roller 

business bulldozer

straight line 

pure breed 

bulldog 

the ones you keep

Kiddo: Jackson Timothy Smith
Established: June 20, 2007
By: Rusty & Janice Smith

the strategist the imaginer kids got figures on his finger tips like they're real life fighters his eyes spell guns and swords and canon ball fire as he hears the sound of pirates and the distant shores of lands he asks to know about the next story uncle michael as his fingers wrap the shoulders and shields of bad guys good guys enemies and friends foes soldiers horse riders death rebirth and immortality to those that brave the darkest corners of the deep, like a board game like a movie we have no edges or credits in true fiction but the ones he fathoms in the spotless expanses limitless is the mind of childhood and perfection

may the ones you love, be the ones you keep

Kiddo: Trey Alan Smith

Established: Jan. 30, 2006

By: Rusty & Janice Smith